Like any writer, I fear rejection.
I've been writing stories ever since I learned how to write words. I loved expressing myself, making up imaginary worlds and characters. I could make anything happen, process my own emotions, make ordinary things into detailed descriptions. I could travel to different time periods, have adventures and share God's love through the written word.
Since kindergarten, I've wanted to be a writer. However, like many people, I tend to get into my own head. I didn't want to risk having people tell me I'm not good enough. I struggled with comparing myself to other people, which, in turn, led me into feeling sorry for myself. Whenever one of my college professors made it a requirement for us to submit a short story to a literary magazine, my stomach tied itself in knots. I submitted "Valley of Ghosts," not expecting anything to come of it. At least I'd done the assignment.
The Copperfield Review accepted my short story. I couldn't believe it. I began to think that I should keep trying to get my work out there for people to read. I published "Trial of Strength" short story version after "Valley of Ghosts" was published, but that voice of doubt continued to hold me down.
I'm not as good as so-and-so. I can't do that. I don't have time for any of that. I can't submit to that because they won't accept it, so why should I try?
Enter the COVID-19 pandemic. My husband and I are teachers, so we were home with our baby girl with nothing to do and nowhere to go. I was on Instagram one day and heard the guitarist of Queen, Brian May, say something along the lines of "...we got to the point where we thought 'Are we going to do this thing or not, and if not, maybe we should just stop.'" That statement struck me. I had an entire trilogy that would be lost forever if something ever happened to my computer. As Brian May said in that post, I was at the point of "do it or don't." 2020 was the year everything shut down. It was the year I shut down the whispers of self-doubt.
In hindsight, I know that I should have gained a following first. I should've established a platform, a marketing plan, etc. However, I also know that if I had not published when I did, I would not have ever done it. Some might say that it was a mistake to publish without establishing an audience first, but I truly believe that my first step was not a mistake. I had to jump in with both feet or not at all.
The best advice I can give to aspiring writers is this: do not be afraid to take the first steps. Do not be afraid to submit your work to literary journals or anthologies. Since having the Trials of the Heart series published, I have been both accepted and rejected. It's still easy for me to get into my own head, since I am a perfectionist. However, I know that God has given me this passion and desire to write. He gives us talents so that we can bring people closer to Him. Use your gifts and talents and do not fear. Take constructive feedback and apply it. Ask for help. Reach out to other authors, editors, and website designers. Attend writing conferences. Make connections. Most importantly, shut down the doubt.
P.S.--Here are the links to two published short stories (The Copperfield Review):
"Trial of Strength" is a short story version of my novel of the same name. It tells the backstory of Tom Murphy and details his departure from home, the conflict with his father, and his first battle in Belmont, Missouri. It can be used as a companion to the novel Trial of Strength. It was published in the November 2016 issue of The Copperfield Review. It was used as part of my college senior thesis at Union University.
"Valley of Ghosts" is a short story that had its origins when I was in high school. It features the character of Caroline Wheelock, a spirited young woman living in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania in the midst of the American Revolution. It was published in the February 2014 issue of The Copperfield Review under my maiden name (Emily Winters). This story was also used as part of my college senior thesis at Union University.
This poem was originally written for my poetry writing class at Union University. It won second place in the age 23-64 category in the February 2022 issue of The Tennessee Magazine.
Do you have any similar experiences? I'd love to hear your insight and advice!